(no subject)

[jadegirl]

Somewhat down today. My wedding ring broke *again*, the day after my birthday, this time a crack straight through the inner band leading one of the leaf overlaps to detach. The last break was the 'free' leaf, the centerpiece, breaking off. I'd sent it back to the jeweler, and she was very apologetic, and fixed it right away, doing a nice job, it just didn't last long - the first break was May 17.

So I emailed her about the latest problem, asking her advice. Her response was pretty hysterical, very apologetic and distraught. I responded as kindly as possible, including a tossed off comment that 'maybe I'm tougher on my hands than I thought'. I'm not interested in blaming anyone, I could care less about the concept, I just want my lovely ring wearable. Besides, she's a nice enough woman, and makes lovely jewelry, so I just wanted to set her mind at ease - I even asked about a custom pair of earrings.

I got a response today, and this part rather took my by surprise; Even though your ring is pretty much pure gold, I am quite confident that if you followed my instructions and understood that you should only where it under casual circumstances, that it should have been absolutely fine and not in such a vulnerable state. It plain just should not have broken so easily.

Now *I* feel blamed, and an surprisingly sad about it. It's hard to explain - there's a certain amount of defensiveness in my reaction, as I've spent a lot of time thinking about what I could have possibly done differently, but still...I just don't see where there has to be blame in any of this. I haven't replied yet, I'm not sure what I'll say. I'll probably just elide that statement entirely, but I think I'll skip ordering the earrings as well. I'm just not sure, and I really, really wish it hadn't gone down quite this way. It's a piece of jewelry - expensive, yes, but in the end, it's just an object, not worth hurt feelings.

Comments

[salsuginous.livejournal.com]

That was unprofessional of her. :(

Don't take it personally. It isn't about you or what you said.

[impgrrl.livejournal.com]

Sounds pretty p/a of her...Yuck :( I'm sorry.

[silme.livejournal.com]

Her comment seems rather harsh, particularly since you were not offensive in any way towards her.

I don't know about the reply. Maybe a friendly, oh yes, of course, I certainly have been very careful with the ring. I've only worn it blah blah blah...

And again, not attacking her. High road.

But I'd be sad also and definitely wouldn't order the earrings. :(

[jadegirl.livejournal.com]

When I first emailed her to tell her it had broken again, I told her I'd been quite careful with it, even more so since it had broken before - I didn't want her to think I was being careless with it, after all.

I think I'll just not mention it, tell her I'll get it fixed myself, and wander off quietly.

[silme.livejournal.com]

I'd be curious to hear what the new jeweller thinks of it, how it was repaired previously, etc.

*sigh* She seems rather rude about it.

[rethought.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wonder if she's perhaps not skilled at repair?

[docstrange.livejournal.com]

I'd let her fix it, then get it encased in Lucite.

Ok, seriously, you should be upset. She should be embarrassed, and I think that's where her comment is coming from. It's a delicate ring? Ok, well, there's delicate and "breaking in unexpected ways." Let her have it - it's her craft, so you know she'll want it repaired right. After that, maybe have a local craftsperson look over the work and advise if there are ways to strengthen it without altering its appearance.

My ring is a hunk of metal; Liana's is basically a suspension bridge. I R a geek.

[trouvera.livejournal.com]

It's a piece of jewelry - expensive, yes, but in the end, it's just an object, not worth hurt feelings.

But its not "just an object", it is a symbol, and the monetary value is really secondary to that. I have things in my home that are fairly expensive that I would hate to have damaged due to replacement costs, etc., but I'd sacrifice a number of those things willingly to 'save' particular less expensive items that have greater emotional value.

Also, I'm confused about her use of the phrase 'casual circumstances'. To me, casual equates to normal, rather than protected or occasional (see casual as opposed to formal dining).

[chorus.livejournal.com]

Feh. She's being defensive and probably looking to shift the perception of blame. Don't let her. Disengage quietly, sure, but hold her to fixing it, or take it somewhere else if you don't trust her to.

Frankly, if a jeweler knows something is a WEDDING BAND, they should know the person's going to want to wear it fairly consistently and make sure it will stand up to normal day-to-day tasks. Of course one takes it off if one's, say, washing dishes or scrubbing floors or gardening -- one would presumably take off all hand jewelery for that stuff -- but if it's broken twice in non-hard-work situations, there's something wrong. Gold's hardly a brittle metal, so even a delicate casting ought to be fairly resistant and hardy unless the design wasn't taking into account wearing it normally. Which would be a shame, as if that's the case it will presumably always be fragile.