(no subject)

[jadegirl]

I've been thinking about veils a great deal lately. It's something that has crossed my mind before, but I'm now at a point where I may just act upon it.

I lived for a while in an area of Chicago heavily populated by east Indians, and it was common to see women wearing chador, hijab, and all sorts of coverings in between. I've always found such things quite beautiful, but at the same time obviously complex, considering how loaded they are as cultural symbols. Even leaving aside the enourmous question of the rights and place of women in a society, the issue of cultural appropriation is a hugely delicate one. Combine the two, and while the idea is still exceedingly attractive to me, I feel a certain reticence about it.

Why would I considering veiling my face? It's complicated. For reasons I can't quite understand, I attract a lot of attention. I noticed it quite starkly about three weeks ago, walking to Roosevelt Island to submit my passport application. I was dressed simply, flat shoes, jeans, a loose, plain rose colored shirts, and my black wool wrap. My hair was bundled back in a ponytail, and I wasn't wearing makeup. As I walked, I became very aware that people would watch me walk by, turning their heads to see me go down the street. This happens a great deal, and just seems to get more apparent if I'm dressed in my 'weekend' clothes, high heels and skirts. Honestly, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Estimations of my attractiveness aside, this is NYC. There are thousands of women here, ranging from pretty to heart-stoppingly lovely. There's no reason I can see why I find myself watched so.

I've read a great deal on the concept and experience of being veiled, both by those in favor of it, and those against. Those for it spoke of something that called to me - the feeling of being shielded, able to interact with the world in a new context, where judgements based upon her appearance were rendered moot. On an almost primitive, emotional level, I find a lot of security in that idea, in the idea that no one could see me, somehow, and I'm finding it difficult to articulate how, it feels like it would help me keep the world at arms length during those times I felt ill-equipped to defend myself against it. There's so much here in this idea that I find myself struggling for words to describe how I feel.

Still, there is the problem of how loaded, especially now, such a symbol is. I wouldn't want to feel (or been assumed to be) like I was undermining those who feel it's oppressive , or that I was undermining its place as a particular religious symbol. Would it even be possible for me to wear it without doing so? I'm just not sure. I sometimes just can't help but long for the ability to hide my face from the world, and move through it unseen.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

If you put your 6 foot+ self in a veil, its only going to result in more people staring at you. ;)

[jadegirl.livejournal.com]

:P Well, maybe you've a point there, but in theory, it would feel different, as they couldn't see *me*.

I'd thought about that though, and if I do it at all, the first few times would certainly be along the lines of an experiment.

[bluemoonpnw.livejournal.com]

I've been tempted myself, I soooo get this.
Not that I'm stared at much, but I still so get it.
The anonymity is.... enticing.

Marti

[the-leewit.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[gothwalk.livejournal.com]

Veiling yourself may well make you more notable, rather than less. ISTR you're quite tall, and in my experience, women of the cultures that habitually use veils aren't usually so, so you might stand out because of that. However, it's entirely possible to construct a veil or other form that isn't derivative of those cultures - even a hat with draping veils may do well, or there's always the modern form - dark glasses.

I have a theory, though. I suspect that people look more at you when you are happy with the way you are. It seems to apply to a few people I know here, one of whom is a transvestite, so there's some thought gone into this. :)

[fifthconundrum.livejournal.com]

There's no reason I can see why I find myself watched so.

That's because you aren't seeing yourself through our eyes...gorgeous. :-)