(no subject)

[jadegirl]

Yesterday was the peace march. Not bad, not as big as 2/15/03, of course, but I expected that. Very peaceful this time around, as opposed to the last few events I've been to, although one of these days my impossible to control impulse to wave at the snipers when I spot them will get me in trouble.:) It's amazing what people would learn if they would just look up every once in a while.

I ran out of plot for the Feist stories I'd been writing which is kind of sad, as I was getting an incredible amount of pleasure out of running around in that world. I'm probably not going to unlock the entries they're in for a least a while yet, as my spelling and punctuation are shameful, as well there being a major plot point, one that the whole story hinges on, that stretches the bounds of plausibility to near-breaking. I've got the first scene for an original story stuck in my head too, but without a plot to follow, that won't do me any good.

Honestly, I think I'm using writing to distract myself. What do you do if someone tells you that you are the most important thing in their life, the light in their world, being with you is the best thing that ever happened to them, and while you hear and parse the words, you don't feel them, not in any real way? You've said the same things to that person, and felt the unshakeable reality of your own words, but when they say them, you just can't...I don't know, respond in any way that feels 'right', there's no reaction in you at all?

It seems hardly fair, and...well, I hardly know what to say.

Comments

[fifthconundrum.livejournal.com]

Depends on what you mean by "real" when you refer to your feelings. I don't think there is necessarily any "correct" way to feel...are you measuring your emotional response to others' descriptions of their emotional responses and finding your response wanting?

[jadegirl.livejournal.com]

I don't think so...When I talk about not feeling any reality, it's that there's just a 'blankness' in my when I hear such things. No emotion at all.

[fifthconundrum.livejournal.com]

Well, considering what you've been put through in the name of "love", I am not surprised. You may need to heal some more before you can feel something (either positive or negative) when you hear such things.