Perhaps you are so saddened by it because it is part of your vocation to please and serve another, and any indication that you are not doing so is a major blow to the meaning of your life.
I used to fret extensively when others took offense at the things I said and did. It still worries me, but not nearly as much as before. In recent years I have seen people take offense no matter what I said, no matter how much I rephrased my statement, no matter how much I lowered my voice, no matter how well I "spoke their language". I've even come across people who will refute me when I tell them my intentions, as if they know my heart and mind far better than I ever can. So I've come to the conclusion some minds are simply closed to certain things--mine is, too, I know--and nothing I say or do is going to open them. So rather than trying to figure out how to open their minds, I leave them alone in the midst of their (mis)perceptions. Very often that means allowing them to have the last say, and that last say is very often full of judgments I would love to refute. But I don't, because I know it won't change anything, except that I'll get even more frustrated than I already am at that point. Instead, I vent in my journal or have an imaginary conversation with them in my mind, which diffuses the frustration, sometimes after several iterations. It's less frustrating that way.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2003-05-17 06:56 am (UTC)I used to fret extensively when others took offense at the things I said and did. It still worries me, but not nearly as much as before. In recent years I have seen people take offense no matter what I said, no matter how much I rephrased my statement, no matter how much I lowered my voice, no matter how well I "spoke their language". I've even come across people who will refute me when I tell them my intentions, as if they know my heart and mind far better than I ever can. So I've come to the conclusion some minds are simply closed to certain things--mine is, too, I know--and nothing I say or do is going to open them. So rather than trying to figure out how to open their minds, I leave them alone in the midst of their (mis)perceptions. Very often that means allowing them to have the last say, and that last say is very often full of judgments I would love to refute. But I don't, because I know it won't change anything, except that I'll get even more frustrated than I already am at that point. Instead, I vent in my journal or have an imaginary conversation with them in my mind, which diffuses the frustration, sometimes after several iterations. It's less frustrating that way.