(no subject)

Class last night annoyed me terribly, and the more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became. It didn't entirely suck, but that was only because I got to (finally!) meet iswari. However, I'm almost embarrased about the quality of the class. Oddly, back in 2001 I had lessons with this dancer, and found her to be quite good. She's changed a lot in the past few years, though, and not for the better. Isolations were not well explained, nor was how to layer them, entire layers of movements were just *thrown* at us at full speed, with no time to 'catch up'. The teacher is still quite a nice woman, very friendly and funny, but her teaching style has begun to suck. I won't be going to her classes again - my time is too valuable, so instead I'll be going to the Casbah Studio on Fridays, and Serena's on Tuesday, when Serena herself teaches the basic class. I felt good about Serena's class, and how I was doing in it, in this one I was nearly squeaking with frustration. I'm there to learn to dance, and to dance well - I'm not paying for a fitness class, or a fun way to blow off steam. I'm serious about my dancing, and I want to feel like my intentions are being taken seriously - which is not to say I don't want to have fun, but I want to feel like I'm *learning*.

Something that I've always known about myself but never really thought about in concrete terms has become quite clear over the past few days - if I bother to get interested in something, I take it as far as I can go. That's quite obvious in my needlework, my intention to enter competitions, for instance, and the sheer amountof time I put into it. Dance is another of those things, and I'm finally in a position where I can afford classes, and thus begin taking this as far as I can go. It's kind of odd, though - I have no real interest in performing on a regular basis, but all the same, I want to become as spectacular a dancer as is possible for me. Don't get me wrong, I'll perform sometimes, once I'm ready, but I don't want to make a career out of it. I just want to know I'm good. This sort of obsessiveness is a major part of my personality, and the main reason why I never wanted to find a 'career' - if I found a paying job that fed me emotionally like my hobbies do I'd spend all my emotional energy on that, and have little left over for anything else, so I just wanted a 'job', something to pay the bills and help me supply my outside interests.

heh. Have I mentioned I plan to start flamenco lessons in two weeks? Basic classes are on Mondays.:)